http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/-t1.htm Jokes. duh... FINE. Funny stuff you would like to share with us. Ya know. JUST FOR LAUGHS. HA-HA-HA. Thu, 14 May 2009 12:15:34 GMT 10 http://i218.photobucket.com/albums/cc114/origami94/TPHS2.jpg http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/-t1.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/things-high-school-musical-2-can-teach-us-t75.htm Sherilynlols@you Things High School Musical 2 can teach us: 1. If you wish to show your inability or dislike for dancing, it's perfectly reasonable to break out in a dance number. 2. College? It's not important, as long as you can hang out with your friends. 3. If your love is strong enough, fireworks will go off, and lanterns will fly away as you and your boyfriend kiss. 4.Playing sports is a hint that it's time to break into song. 5.Don't worry about being rude/mean in the end ... Jokes Mon, 27 Oct 2008 08:25:24 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/things-high-school-musical-2-can-teach-us-t75.htm#624 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/things-high-school-musical-2-can-teach-us-t75.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/daddy-how-was-i-born-t82.htm Sherilynlols@you A little boy goes to his father and asks: Daddy, how was I born?� The father answers: Well son, I guess one day you will need to find out anyway! Your Mom and I first got together in a chat room on Yahoo. Then I setup a date via e-mail with your Mom and we met at a cyber-cafe. We sneaked into a secluded room, where your mother agreed to a download from my hard drive. As soon as I was ready to upload, we discovered that neither one of us had used a firewall, and since it was ... Jokes Thu, 14 May 2009 12:11:05 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/daddy-how-was-i-born-t82.htm#689 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/daddy-how-was-i-born-t82.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/i-think-you-re-the-father-of-one-of-my-kids-t81.htm Sherilynlols@you A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him. She says hello. He's rather taken aback because he can't place where he knows her from. So he says, 'Do you know me?' To which she replies, 'I think you're the father of one of my kids.' Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife and says, 'Are you the stripper from the bachelor party that I made love to on the pool table with all my buddies watching while your partner ... Jokes Thu, 14 May 2009 12:08:34 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/i-think-you-re-the-father-of-one-of-my-kids-t81.htm#688 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/i-think-you-re-the-father-of-one-of-my-kids-t81.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/potential-realist-t80.htm Sherilynlols@you A young boy went up to his father and asked him, 'Dad, what is the difference between 'potentially' and 'realistically'?' The father thought for a moment, then answered, 'Go ask your mother if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Then ask your sister if she would sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars, and then ask your brother if he'd sleep with Brad Pitt for a million dollars. Come back and tell me what you learn from that.' So the boy went ... Jokes Thu, 14 May 2009 12:03:36 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/potential-realist-t80.htm#687 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/potential-realist-t80.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/god-is-busy-t83.htm Sherilynlols@you A United States Marine was attending college Between assignments. He had completed Missions in Iraq and Afghanistan. One day a professor shocked the class. When he came in, he Looked to the ceiling and flatly stated, 'God, if you Are real, then I want you to knock me off this Platform. I'll give you exactly 5 minutes.' The Room was silent. You could hear a pin drop. Three minutes went by and the professor proclaimed, 'Here I am God. I'm still waiting.' The Marine got ... Jokes Thu, 14 May 2009 12:15:34 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/god-is-busy-t83.htm#690 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/god-is-busy-t83.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/dick-t51.htm Sherilynlols@you A city cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl stopped beside him on her shiny new bike. Nice bike," the cop said, "Did Santa bring it to you?" "Yep," the little girl said, "He sure did!" The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $20 ticket for a safety violation, saying, "Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it." The young girl looked up at the cop and said, "Nice horse you got ... Jokes Mon, 03 Mar 2008 04:30:16 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/dick-t51.htm#401 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/dick-t51.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/how-to-really-treat-girls-t71.htm Sherilynlols@you The rules on how to treat are the following. If you have ideas for more please feel free to contribute. 1. When she asks how she looks, shrug and say "could be better." This will keep her on her toes, and girls love that. 2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness. If she grabs your hand, squeeze hers really hard until she cries (this will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are). 3. Once a month, sneak up on her from behind and ... Jokes Mon, 09 Jun 2008 09:32:16 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/how-to-really-treat-girls-t71.htm#598 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/how-to-really-treat-girls-t71.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/why-go-on-a-quiz-show-if-you-re-this-stupid-t69.htm Sherilynlols@you UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE (BBC2) Jeremy Paxman: What is another name for "cherrypickers" and "cheesemongers"? Contestant: Homosexuals. Paxman: No. They're regiments in the British Army who will be very upset with you. * BEG, BORROW OR STEAL (BBC2) Jamie Theakston: Where do you think Cambridge University is? Contestant: Geography isn't my strong point. Theakston: There's a clue in the title. Contestant: Leicester. * PHIL WOOD SHOW (BBC GMR) Wood: What ... Jokes Mon, 09 Jun 2008 09:17:38 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/why-go-on-a-quiz-show-if-you-re-this-stupid-t69.htm#596 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/why-go-on-a-quiz-show-if-you-re-this-stupid-t69.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/four-letter-words-t70.htm Sherilynlols@you A young couple got married and left on their Honeymoon. When they got back, Joan, the bride immediately called her Mother. Mother asked, "How was the honeymoon?" Oh mama, she replied, "The honeymoon was wonderful! So romantic." But then suddenly she burst out crying. "However, mama as soon as we returned, Greg starting using the most horrible language, things I'd never heard before! I mean, all these 4-letter words! You've got to come get me and take ... Jokes Mon, 09 Jun 2008 09:23:56 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/four-letter-words-t70.htm#597 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/four-letter-words-t70.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/282-things-to-do-in-class-when-you-are-bored-in-school-t56.htm Von Got these from a facebook group. Part I 1. Speak in improper English like ain�t, and when the teacher corrects, nod like you understand and continue to speak improperly. 2. Randomly get out of your seat and sit on the floor. 3. When it is very quiet, raise your hand and insist it is too loud. 4. If the person next to you is quiet, turn and inform them that they are distracting you. 5. When the teacher calls on you to answer the question, answer `Two � 6. ... Jokes Fri, 21 Mar 2008 11:36:48 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/282-things-to-do-in-class-when-you-are-bored-in-school-t56.htm#439 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/282-things-to-do-in-class-when-you-are-bored-in-school-t56.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/you-know-you-re-chinese-when-t57.htm Sherilynlols@you Found this on a facebook group too =D ___________________________________ *********************************** 1. You live on rice. 2. 4 is an unlucky number because it sound like 'death' in Chinese. 3. You've been hit with a bamboo stick, cane, clothes hanger etc. by your parents. 4. Your grandparents mostly prefer males than females. 5. Your grades must not be lower than an 80%. Anything lower is a 'Chinese fail.' 6. Your parents don't even look at your effort mark. 7. ... Jokes Thu, 27 Mar 2008 06:52:18 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/you-know-you-re-chinese-when-t57.htm#453 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/you-know-you-re-chinese-when-t57.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/how-to-give-a-cat-a-pill-t60.htm Sherilynlols@you 1. Pick up cat and cradle it in the crook of your left arm as if holding a baby. Position right forefinger and thumb on either side of cat's mouth and gently apply pressure to cheeks while holding pill in right hand. As cat opens mouth, pop pill into mouth. Allow cat to close mouth and swallow. 2. Retrieve pill from floor and cat from behind sofa. Cradle cat in left arm and repeat process. 3. Retrieve cat from bedroom, and throw soggy pill away. 4. Take new pill from ... Jokes Thu, 27 Mar 2008 07:29:38 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/how-to-give-a-cat-a-pill-t60.htm#457 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/how-to-give-a-cat-a-pill-t60.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/letters-to-god-t58.htm Sherilynlols@you Little Carol came into the kitchen where her mother was making dinner. Her birthday was coming up and she thought this was a good time to tell her mother what she wanted. "Mom, I want a bike for my birthday." Now, Little Carol was a bit of a troublemaker. She had gotten into trouble at school and at home. Carol's mother asked her if she thought she deserved to get a bike for her birthday. Little Carol, of course, thought she did. Carol's mother, being a Christian woman, wanted ... Jokes Thu, 27 Mar 2008 07:22:24 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/letters-to-god-t58.htm#455 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/letters-to-god-t58.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/judo-chop-t61.htm Sherilynlols@you A little guy was sitting in a bar, drinking his cold draft and minding his own business when, without provocation, a great big dude came in and *WHACK!* knocks him clean off the bar stool and onto the floor. Then big dude blurts out, "That was a karate chop from Korea!" The little guy thinks to himself, "GEEZ," but all he does is gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again. All of a sudden - WHACK!! -- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN and says, "That was ... Jokes Thu, 27 Mar 2008 07:50:09 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/judo-chop-t61.htm#458 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/judo-chop-t61.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/noah-and-the-american-made-ark-t59.htm Sherilynlols@you In the year 2005, the Lord came unto Noah, who was now living in the United States, and said, "Once again, the earth has become wicked and over-populated, and I see the end of all flesh before me. Build another Ark and save 2 of every living thing along with a few good humans." He gave Noah the blueprints, saying, "You have 6 months to build the Ark before I will start the unending rain for 40 days and 40 nights." Six months later, the Lord looked down and saw Noah weeping ... Jokes Thu, 27 Mar 2008 07:27:22 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/noah-and-the-american-made-ark-t59.htm#456 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/noah-and-the-american-made-ark-t59.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/phone-convo-woot-t45.htm BSRZ While Sherilyn heard a convo I was having.... Sherilyn: I bet you have a boyfriend. Me: No.. It's a girl. Sherilyn: IT'S MICK! Me & Sherilyn: LOL. We were talking about Candy stealing Sherilyn's wallet... Then we came to this conclusion on how Candy used $50. Sherilyn: She bought it in the bookshop. Me: What toy sells for $50? Sherilyn: I dunno. Me: I KNOW. SHE BOUGHT A CALCULATOR! Sherilyn: But a calculator is only $20+. *silence* Me: SHE BOUGHT 2 CALCULATORS! Jokes Tue, 26 Feb 2008 11:38:07 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/phone-convo-woot-t45.htm#394 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/phone-convo-woot-t45.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/30-things-to-do-in-an-exam-when-u-know-u-re-gonna-fail-t55.htm Sherilynlols@you 1. Get a copy of the exam, run out screaming "Andre, Andre, I've got the secret documents!!" 2. Talk the entire way through the exam. Read questions aloud, debate your answers with yourself out loud. If asked to stop, yell out, "I'm SOOO sure that you can hear me thinking." Then start talking about what a jerk the instructor is. 3. Bring a Game Boy. Play with the volume at max level. 4. On the answer sheet find a new, interesting way to refuse to answer ... Jokes Thu, 13 Mar 2008 05:04:49 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/30-things-to-do-in-an-exam-when-u-know-u-re-gonna-fail-t55.htm#421 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/30-things-to-do-in-an-exam-when-u-know-u-re-gonna-fail-t55.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/t-g-i-f-versus-s-h-i-t-t46.htm Sherilynlols@you A business man got on an elevator. When he entered,there was a blonde already inside who greeted him with a bright, "T-G-I-F." He smiled at her and replied, "S-H-I-T." She looked puzzled, and repeated, "T-G-I-F," more slowly. He again answered, "S-H-I-T." The blonde was trying to keep it friendly, so, she smiled her biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly, "T-G-I-F." The man smiled back to her and once again, "S-H-I-T." The ... Jokes Mon, 03 Mar 2008 04:01:58 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/t-g-i-f-versus-s-h-i-t-t46.htm#396 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/t-g-i-f-versus-s-h-i-t-t46.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/school-answering-machine-t47.htm Sherilynlols@you This is the message that the Pacific Palisades High School (California) staff voted unanimously to record on their school Telephone answering machine This is the actual answering machine message for the school. (This is hilarious - no wonder some people were offended!) This came about because they implemented a policy requiring students and parents to be responsible for their children's absences and missing homework. The school and teachers are being sued by parents who want their children's ... Jokes Mon, 03 Mar 2008 04:04:03 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/school-answering-machine-t47.htm#397 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/school-answering-machine-t47.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/she-who-interrupts-is-lost-t48.htm Sherilynlols@you Little Johnny watched his daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace. Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could not contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother, - Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt.Then Aunt Jane ... Jokes Mon, 03 Mar 2008 04:05:17 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/she-who-interrupts-is-lost-t48.htm#398 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/she-who-interrupts-is-lost-t48.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/think-before-you-speak-t49.htm Sherilynlols@you Have you ever spoken and wished that you could immediately take the words back... FIRST: I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't say a word... he knew better. SECOND: I was at the golf store comparing different kinds of golf balls. I was unhappy with the women's type I had been using. After browsing ... Jokes Mon, 03 Mar 2008 04:09:10 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/think-before-you-speak-t49.htm#399 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/think-before-you-speak-t49.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/tickle-me-elmo-t52.htm Sherilynlols@you There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under the arms. Well, Lena is hired at The Tickle Me Elmo factory and she reports for her first day promptly at 8:00 AM The next day at 8:45 AM there is a knock at the Personnel Manager's door. The Foreman throws open the door and begins to rant about the new employee. He complains that she is incredibly slow and the whole line is backing up, putting the entire production ... Jokes Mon, 03 Mar 2008 04:30:47 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/tickle-me-elmo-t52.htm#402 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/tickle-me-elmo-t52.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/men-dont-like-to-shop-t53.htm Sherilynlols@you After Mr. and Mrs. Fenton retired, Mrs. Fenton insisted her husband accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, Mr. Fenton was like most men--he found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunately, Mrs. Fenton was like most women--she loved to browse. One day Mrs. Fenton received the following letter from her local Wal-Mart. Dear Mrs. Fenton, Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot ... Jokes Mon, 03 Mar 2008 04:31:30 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/men-dont-like-to-shop-t53.htm#403 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/men-dont-like-to-shop-t53.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/computer-jokes-t54.htm Sherilynlols@you Customer: I'm trying to connect to the Internet with your CD, but it just doesn't work. What am I doing wrong? Tech support : OK, you've got the CD in the CD drive, right? Customer: Yeah.... Tech support : And what sort of computer are you using? Customer: Computer? Oh no, I haven't got a computer. It's in the CD player and all I get is weird noises. Listen.... Tech support : Aaaarrrrgggghhhh!!! =============== Tech support: What kind of computer do you have? Female customer ... Jokes Mon, 03 Mar 2008 04:32:52 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/computer-jokes-t54.htm#404 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/computer-jokes-t54.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/best-friend-t50.htm Sherilynlols@you A man was feeling very depressed and walked into a bar and ordered a triple scotch. As the bartender poured him the drink he remarked, "That's quite a heavy drink. What's wrong?" After quickly downing his drink, the man replied "I got home and found my wife in bed with my best friend." "Wow" exclaimed the bartender, as he poured the man a second triple, "No wonder you needed a stiff drink. The second triple is on the house." As the man downed his ... Jokes Mon, 03 Mar 2008 04:15:16 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/best-friend-t50.htm#400 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/best-friend-t50.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/are-you-sure-she-s-not-mental-t44.htm BSRZ Mmm, couldn't make up a title, so this is what I got. Paul copied and pasted this to me and I laughed like shit. This is by his request to put it up on said forums. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have. Ralph and Edna were both patients in a mental hospital. One day while they were walking past the hospital swimming pool. Ralph suddenly jumped into the deep end. He sank to the bottom of the pool and stayed ... Jokes Thu, 21 Feb 2008 11:43:46 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/are-you-sure-she-s-not-mental-t44.htm#391 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/are-you-sure-she-s-not-mental-t44.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/you-re-going-to-die-t34.htm Sherilynlols@you A woman accompanied her husband to the doctor's office. After the check-up, the doctor took the wife aside and said, "If you don't do the following, your husband will surely die". 1.Each morning, fix him a healthy breakfast and send him off to work in a good mood. 2.At lunch time, make him a warm, nutritious meal and put him in a good frame of mind before he goes back to work. 3.For dinner, fix an especially nice meal, and don't burden ... Jokes Thu, 17 Jan 2008 08:48:46 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/you-re-going-to-die-t34.htm#301 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/you-re-going-to-die-t34.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/our-prayers-have-been-answered-t33.htm Sherilynlols@you A lady goes to her parish priest one day and tells him, "Father, I have a problem. I have two female parrots but they only know how to say one thing." "What do they say?" the priest inquired. "They say, 'Hi, we're prostitutes. Do you want to have some fun?" "That's obscene!" the priest exclaimed, "I can see why you are embarrassed." He thought a minute and then said, "You know, I may have a solution to this problem. I have two ... Jokes Thu, 17 Jan 2008 08:44:12 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/our-prayers-have-been-answered-t33.htm#300 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/our-prayers-have-been-answered-t33.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/ground-crew-humour-d-t27.htm RIG You should like this... After every flight, Quantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problems, document their repairs on the form, then the pilots review the gripe sheets right before the next flight. Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are some of the actual maintenance complaints submitted by the Qantas' pilots (as marked with a P) and the ... Jokes Wed, 09 Jan 2008 00:02:32 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/ground-crew-humour-d-t27.htm#276 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/ground-crew-humour-d-t27.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/weird-signs-t20.htm Sherilynlols@you TOILET OUT OF ORDER. PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW In a Laundromat: AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT GOES OUT In a London department store: BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS In an office: WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN In an office: AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE DRAINING BOARD Outside a secondhand shop: WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING ... Jokes Tue, 25 Dec 2007 13:51:17 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/weird-signs-t20.htm#193 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/weird-signs-t20.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/what-does-it-mean-to-give-more-than-100-t21.htm Sherilynlols@you What does it mean to give MORE than 100%? Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%? We have all been to those meetings where someone wants you to give over 100%. How about achieving 103%? What akes up 100% in life? Here�s a little mathematical formula we put together that might help you answer these questions: If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as: 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26. Then: H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11 ... Jokes Wed, 26 Dec 2007 04:08:16 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/what-does-it-mean-to-give-more-than-100-t21.htm#204 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/what-does-it-mean-to-give-more-than-100-t21.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/anger-management-t29.htm Sherilynlols@you Thought i'd just post it here in case people couldn't find it in the mess of spam. lol. Anger Management When you occasionally have a really bad day, and you just need to take it out on someone, don't take it out on someone you know, take it out on someone you don't know.I was sitting at my desk when I remembered a phone call I'd forgotten to make. I found the number and dialed it. A man answered, saying "Hello."I politely said, "This is Chris. Could I please ... Jokes Sat, 12 Jan 2008 03:05:19 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/anger-management-t29.htm#284 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/anger-management-t29.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/loser-doctor-t32.htm Sherilynlols@you A beautiful, voluptuous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at this woman and all his professionalism went out the window. He immediately told her to undress. After she had disrobed the doctor began to stroke her thigh. Doing so, he asked her, "Do you know what I'm doing?" "Yes," she replied, "you're checking for any abrasions or dermatological abnormalities." "That is right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle ... Jokes Thu, 17 Jan 2008 08:33:13 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/loser-doctor-t32.htm#299 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/loser-doctor-t32.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/yo-mamma-t23.htm BSRZ Post here for all your Yo' Mamma jokes. If you got a new one, post it here, if you want to comment, post it here, just don't spam. K? ~~~~~~~~~~~ Yo momma is so poor, when I stepped on the skateboard outside yo' front porch, she shouted... "HEY YOU, GET OFF THE FAMILY CAR!" Yo' momma is so stupid, she got stabbed in a shoot out! Yo' momma is so fat, she went bungee jumping and went straight to hell! Yo' momma is so fat even Bill Gates couldn't pay for her ... Jokes Thu, 27 Dec 2007 13:43:56 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/yo-mamma-t23.htm#241 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/yo-mamma-t23.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/weight-loss-programe-t35.htm Sherilynlols@you A fellow was reading the paper one day lamenting the fact that his doctor has ordered him to lose 75 pounds. Next thing he sees is an advertisement for a guaranteed weight loss program. Guaranteed like heck, he thinks to himself. But lets see what they think they can do. He calls them on the phone and subscribes to the 3 day, 10 LB weight loss program. The next day there comes a knock at his door, and when he answers, there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic 19 year ... Jokes Thu, 17 Jan 2008 08:51:52 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/weight-loss-programe-t35.htm#302 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/weight-loss-programe-t35.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/2-for-the-price-of-1-t31.htm Sherilynlols@you There was this boy in high school that was what you would consider a nerd. Anyway he had his own lab in the basement of his home and one night he came up and said "Dad look what I made." So he poured a flask of fluid into a pot of soil and instantly grass started to grow. Of course his dad was really impressed with this and asked his son if he can make something to make his penis grow. His son thought for a minute and said that if he did then dad would have to ... Jokes Thu, 17 Jan 2008 08:30:20 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/2-for-the-price-of-1-t31.htm#298 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/2-for-the-price-of-1-t31.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/a-two-line-romantic-poem-t22.htm Sherilynlols@you The following are entries to a contest by The Washington Post, in which respondents had to write a two-line romantic poem... except that the last line had to be as un-romantic as the first line was romantic. 1. My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife; Marrying you screwed up my life. 2. I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. 3. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not. 4. Love may be beautiful, ... Jokes Wed, 26 Dec 2007 04:10:22 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/a-two-line-romantic-poem-t22.htm#205 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/a-two-line-romantic-poem-t22.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/chuck-norris-t25.htm BSRZ Classic, isn't it? ~~~~~~~~~ Chuck Norris sold his soul to the devil for his rugged good looks and unparalleled martial arts ability. Shortly after the transaction was finalized, Chuck roundhouse kicked the devil in the face and took his soul back. The devil, who appreciates irony, couldn't stay mad and admitted he should have seen it coming. They now play poker every second Wednesday of the month. Chuck Norris once walked into the ocean, but did not get wet; instead the ocean ... Jokes Fri, 28 Dec 2007 15:10:31 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/chuck-norris-t25.htm#261 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/chuck-norris-t25.htm http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/notes-from-an-inexperienced-chili-taster-named-frank-t19.htm Sherilynlols@you Notes from an inexperienced Chili taster named FRANK, who was visiting Texas from the East Coast: "Recently I was honored to be selected as a judge at a chili cook-off. The original person called in sick at the last moment, and I happened to be standing there at the judge's table asking directions to the beer wagon when the call came. I was assured by the other two judges (Native Texans) that the chili wouldn't be all that spicy, and besides, they told me I could have free beer during ... Jokes Tue, 25 Dec 2007 13:46:54 GMT http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/notes-from-an-inexperienced-chili-taster-named-frank-t19.htm#192 http://tphs.forumotion.com/jokes-f9/notes-from-an-inexperienced-chili-taster-named-frank-t19.htm